YMEFLC 2016 reflections
2/7/16
Luke 17:11-19
11 On the way to Jerusalem he
was passing along between Samaria and Galilee. 12 And
as he entered a village, he was met by ten lepers, [a] who stood at a
distance 13 and lifted up their voices, saying,
“Jesus, Master, have mercy on us.” 14 When he saw
them he said to them, “Go and show yourselves to the
priests.” And as they went they were cleansed. 15 Then
one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, praising God
with a loud voice; 16 and he fell on his face
at Jesus' feet, giving him thanks. Now he was a Samaritan. 17 Then
Jesus answered, “Were not ten cleansed? Where are the nine? 18 Was
no one found to return and give praise to God except
this foreigner?” 19 And he said to
him, “Rise and go your way; your faith has made you well.”
[b]
At the age of 32, this passage is not unfamiliar to me.
Events in the past months, however, have changed the paradigm on which I
interpret and view the text. The series of events I am about to describe show a
sign so clear that the Lord has spoken to me and this kind of events are
unprecedented for me.
It all began in the middle of May, after I have just
completed a series of exams for my semester in UniSIM. My Dad came up to me and
said that he needed to discuss something. He told me that I have not been
giving the proper respect and commitment due to the family and I was treating
the house “like a hotel”. The conversation turned ugly, and we got into a
heated debate. My father sensed that the conversation was not heading in the
right direction, promptly ended it, and left me to reflect on the discussion
points. After cooling off, I did acknowledge that even though I had been very
busy trying to maximise my time in my studies I have indeed completely
neglected my family who has been supporting me in my education.
Fast forward to the June Church Camp, I have already changed
my ways and have improved the interactions I have with my family as well as
their extended family and friends. The Lord worked miraculously and I thought
that it was a good lesson learnt. During the church camp, Pastor Lillian asked
us to pray and ask God to speak directly to us. The word “Honour” suddenly came
upon me as I prayed. At that point of time, I was seeking to honour my family
and seek to improve my relationships with them. This, I thought was an
excellent reinforcement, of what I was already practicing. I showed it to my
accountability partner in camp, shared the above story and thought it was the
end of the lesson again.
Fast forward again to YMELFC 2016, I was highly excited as
this was my first YMLC and I have heard that this would be a first in many
YMLCs to have the Evangelical Free Churches join us. Even though, they said
that they didn’t assign us according to age, my group consisted of members only
1-2 yrs different from my current age, with the exception of the mentors. The
interactions were deep, highly educative, relevant and meaningful as we could
identify quickly with one another. This was especially so for my group mentor
(Ps Vincent) who shared a wonderful testimony of how he came to know Christ and
became a pastor.
At the first dinner of the conference, he handed us some
cards saying that he has been instructed to write cards for all of us. He
prayed and he wrote according to what the Spirit had instructed him. He said
that there was no better word of encouragement than that of scripture hence he
has written some verses for all of us. When I received the card, I was deeply
shaken and at a complete loss for words. Not knowing how to react but only to
nod and thank him for the card. The verse he had given me was from 2 Tim
2:20-21:
Now in a great house there are not only vessels of gold
and silver but also of wood and clay, some for honourable use, some for
dishonorable.21 Therefore, if anyone cleanses
himself from what is dishonourable, [d] he will be a vessel
for honourable use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the
house, ready for every good work.
He ended with, “Eugene, may you be that honourable vessel.
His grace and mercy be yours in abundance.”
The message on the card, which I have also scanned as an
attachment, shook my entire being and a stirring started to form into my heart.
The session after dinner, Ps Edmund spoke on the crisis of Leadership, and as
he spoke on the parts on the fatigue and emptiness of worn out leaders. I have
discovered that I had not had this feeling of excitement and stirring in my
walk with God for many years. I have been accumulating knowledge without transformation
and putting on a mediocre act as a Christian Leader as well.
On the second day, I have already consolidated all the
lessons learnt and I have shared the above with my roommate during reflections.
The excitement within me could not be extinguished and I proceeded to share it
with my mentor as we went out for coffee during break time. He gave me an
astonished look and he told me genuinely he just did as the Spirit led. He has
no idea who I was and I have never met him in my entire life! We thank God for
the revelation and headed back.
During the group prayer time in between the extended
worship, my mentor prayed for me, the 2 Tim verse came up again. This time, he
emphasised that for me to be the honourable vessel I must first cleanse myself
of what is dishonourable. My heart stirred again as I have glossed over that
point in my excitement to share this exciting piece of news.
Shortly after, the worship leader requested for those who
required healing to step up. As an adult leader, I knew that I wanted to
encourage my roommate to be prayed for so I went up with him to be prayed for
together. We both suffered different strains of eczema. As we approached the
leaders the Holy Spirit prompted me again, which I proceeded to share with the
leader. The prompting was that I should not pray for the healing of my eczema.
I already know how it can be cured. The solution has already been revealed to
me several years ago when I was in NS, and the cure was that I had to exercise.
I have neglected that due to severe laziness. And also it continued saying,
“This eczema that you now have is a manifestation of the sin in your life. You
know that it is there, you know what to do to cure it, and yet you have refused
to do it!” When the words left my mouth, I was certain that it was from the
Holy Spirit as I quote Ps Edmund “I am not so clever”. I continued to ask the
leader to pray for me that God will grant me the strength to be repentant of my
sins so that I can be cleansed just as I work to cure my eczema.
The leader praying for me was highly impressed and he said
to me this after praying for me, "Eugene, to be able to draw such a parallel
from your illness to your spiritual health, you have the gift of spiritual
sight. And for those who have been given this gift, great things will be coming
for and from them." I have no idea now how many times I have already been taken
aback. However, for the leader to say this to me shocked me in 2 ways. 1 I did
not know there was such a gift as spiritual sight or spiritual insight, I
thought it was a common gift and it is not listed in the gifts in the bible. 2
Nobody has ever told me directly what my spiritual gifting was, I have done a
few spiritual gifting tests but I never really took them very seriously and
they also did not indicate such a gift.
I have written all this as a form of a journal and record of
the lessons that God has thought me during these past few months. In order not
to drag this reflection any longer, I will list them out in points.
1 Understanding
the spiritual gifting
On hindsight, I realise that this is not really a spiritual
gifting like those of giving, preaching, teaching etc. However, it is a sense
of restedness, clarity, brokenness, a heart of learning and many more things
which makes me ready to accept God’s instruction in my life. I would guess it
may be similar to the experience described in the bible when the Spirit of the
Lord comes upon certain individuals. I will not say I have arrived at that
position where I am walking in step with Jesus, but I would say that this is
just a taste of it, the beginning, and it is delicious!
2 Cleansing
For many years of my life, I have just been going through
the routines of life, at times, I may have had mountaintop experiences but they
are quickly bogged down by the everyday life routines. Just as I have learned
to become comfortable with my eczema, sin has also crept into my life and I
have chosen to allow it to remain there, justifying it and making it seem right
even though it was poisoning my relationship with God. When God opened my eyes
to reveal my sin, I felt like a baby who had been suffering and crying with my
eyes closed only to stop crying when I opened my eyes to see the Father staring
back at me with loving eyes. There are no words sufficient to describe this emotion.
3 Worship
With the cleansing and relationships restored, my worship
has become more genuine. With the excellent worship team leading us into songs
like the Alabaster Jar, breaking the chains etc. My worship has truly become
from the inside out. Inside, I know that I am right with God and, outside, my
actions and praises are no longer hypocritical or shallow.
4 Honour
The word that is now resonating in my heart as I type this
reflection. I am still amazed that the Holy Spirit is such an excellent helper.
As I type this, he knows my learning process and guides me into newer and
greater truths as I discover how I can honour God. In fact, he has completed
the initial word that was given to me. That which was only “honour” has become
complete and the word is now “Honour God”. Cleansing myself and becoming
honourable has allowed me to be ready, to be a useful vessel for God to use me.
5 Faith and
Healing
As I reflect on the past years of my life and compare it
with the experience and euphoria that I am now experiencing. I would liken my
earlier years to be like the 9 lepers who have been healed but did not return.
And now I can hear Jesus say to me “Rise and go your way; your faith
has made you well.”
6 Dailyness
To end off the sharing, I would like to quote Pastor
Vincent’s example of Mary and Martha where Mary has chosen to seat at the feet
of Jesus. For the past few years, my spiritual disciplines like QT and prayer
has been especially dry due to my suppression of the Holy Spirit. Now that the
chains have been broken, I now have the inside out paradigm when I approach
this disciplines. Pastor Vincent also shared another point, he said that what
Jesus said at the end is most interesting. The phrase “Mary has chosen the
good portion, which will not be taken away from her.” I have mentioned earlier
that I had previous mountain top experiences and they have all diminished. The
Lord can give and take away. However, I have now learned that if I choose to
continually seat at the feet of Jesus, HE will not be taken away from me. I
pray for the strength to continually pray, journal and do devotions so that
Jesus Christ will not be taken away from me again.
very encouraged by your sharing even after hearing it a few times, Eugene. may you truly be that honourable vessel set apart for His good works. His grace and mercy be yours in abundance indeed!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the encouragement! May the Lord also use you in many great ways new boss!
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