Study 54 "Jesus, Lord of my family life" (21/10/16)
Ephesians 5:21 "submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ" is followed by three examples of submission: of wives to husbands (5:22), children to parents (6:1) and bondservants to masters (6:5). The presence of three examples points out the fact that mutual submission is not primarily in view in these verses. Husbands to not primarily submit to wives, just as parents do not primarily submit to children and masters, to bondservants.
In each example here Paul gives injunctions to the party being submitted to, so that there is reassurance to those who are doing the submitting. Husbands must love their wives (5:25). Fathers must not provoke their children to anger (6:4), and masters must not threaten their bondservants (6:9). There is thus a complementarity in relationships, rather than a sameness/symmetry in how we relate to one another. This comes into sharpest focus when we consider the institution of Christian marriage.
I said that Christian marriage is the union of one man with one woman in lifelong covenant before God and before witnesses. Marriage was instituted before the fall as such. The key verse is in Gen 2:24 - quoted by Paul in Eph 5:31 as well as by Jesus in Mt 19:5 and Mk 10:7-8. This verse is a 'mystery' - a spiritual reality once hidden, but now revealed in Christ. And the mystery of marriage is that marriage is a parable of the relationship between Christ and the Church - His bride. We look forward to the 'marriage supper'/wedding dinner of the Lamb when in a wonderful and unimaginable way we will be united with Christ forever (Rev 19:7-9)
In Christian marriage men, like Christ loved the church, are to love their wives sacrificially - according greater worth to their wives than to themselves. Men must take steps to make their wives holy so as to make them blameless in Christ. I felt that there is a sense of godly self-interest. We men are not to complain about the women we have married because in a deep sense we have made our wives into what they are!
Christian wives must submit i) to their own husbands ii) as to the Lord, 'in everything'. I said that Christian husband had a leadership role in the marriage, and that submission constituted the happy willingness of the wife to support her husband in that role.
As with Paul in Eph 5, Peter in 1 Pet 3 teaches wives to submit to their own husbands (v.1, 5). They are to learn the secret of eternal beauty - a gentle and quiet spirit that is very precious in God's sight. This is contrasted to external adornment which will fade. Women are asked to continue to do good and to not fear 'anything that is frightening' (v. 6) - likely in context the fear of being taken advantage of. The reference to gentleness and quietness recalls the fact that Christian marriage restores the original plan of God that was marred in the Fall. Part of the curse falling on Eve was that she would desire to dominate her husband (cf. Gen 4:7), and yet that her husband would rule over her by his greater physical strength. Women are therefore not to strive against their husbands. Regardless of their personality and character, gentleness and quietness is to be aimed at in a Christian wife.
Men are to deal with their wives in an 'understanding way', taking into account their physical weakness ("vessel" is the same word as "jars" of clay in 2 Co 4:7, a reference to the physical body) as well as their spiritual standing ("heirs of the grace if life"). Failure to be considerate to wives will cause God to not be considerate to the prayers of husbands.
I Co 11:3 teaches us that even in the perfection of the Trinity there are relationships of authority and submission. We tend to equate greatness with greater authority. and yet in the three persons of the Godhead, each equal in glory and each equally worthy of worship, to be submissive is also a mark of greatness (c.f. Mt 20:27-28). So authority and submission in the bible is not a mark of inferiority of superiority, but merely an indication of difference of role.
There are certainly difficulties in implementing the Scriptural commands here - Christian wives must yet submit to unloving husbands and Christian husbands must sacrificially love unsubmissive wives. The same goes for children needing to accord honour (worth, regard) to unworthy parents and employees needing to show regard for poor employers. We are asked to behave in gracious ways because God loved us and chose us in Christ when we were ourselves completely unworthy.
In each example here Paul gives injunctions to the party being submitted to, so that there is reassurance to those who are doing the submitting. Husbands must love their wives (5:25). Fathers must not provoke their children to anger (6:4), and masters must not threaten their bondservants (6:9). There is thus a complementarity in relationships, rather than a sameness/symmetry in how we relate to one another. This comes into sharpest focus when we consider the institution of Christian marriage.
I said that Christian marriage is the union of one man with one woman in lifelong covenant before God and before witnesses. Marriage was instituted before the fall as such. The key verse is in Gen 2:24 - quoted by Paul in Eph 5:31 as well as by Jesus in Mt 19:5 and Mk 10:7-8. This verse is a 'mystery' - a spiritual reality once hidden, but now revealed in Christ. And the mystery of marriage is that marriage is a parable of the relationship between Christ and the Church - His bride. We look forward to the 'marriage supper'/wedding dinner of the Lamb when in a wonderful and unimaginable way we will be united with Christ forever (Rev 19:7-9)
In Christian marriage men, like Christ loved the church, are to love their wives sacrificially - according greater worth to their wives than to themselves. Men must take steps to make their wives holy so as to make them blameless in Christ. I felt that there is a sense of godly self-interest. We men are not to complain about the women we have married because in a deep sense we have made our wives into what they are!
Christian wives must submit i) to their own husbands ii) as to the Lord, 'in everything'. I said that Christian husband had a leadership role in the marriage, and that submission constituted the happy willingness of the wife to support her husband in that role.
As with Paul in Eph 5, Peter in 1 Pet 3 teaches wives to submit to their own husbands (v.1, 5). They are to learn the secret of eternal beauty - a gentle and quiet spirit that is very precious in God's sight. This is contrasted to external adornment which will fade. Women are asked to continue to do good and to not fear 'anything that is frightening' (v. 6) - likely in context the fear of being taken advantage of. The reference to gentleness and quietness recalls the fact that Christian marriage restores the original plan of God that was marred in the Fall. Part of the curse falling on Eve was that she would desire to dominate her husband (cf. Gen 4:7), and yet that her husband would rule over her by his greater physical strength. Women are therefore not to strive against their husbands. Regardless of their personality and character, gentleness and quietness is to be aimed at in a Christian wife.
Men are to deal with their wives in an 'understanding way', taking into account their physical weakness ("vessel" is the same word as "jars" of clay in 2 Co 4:7, a reference to the physical body) as well as their spiritual standing ("heirs of the grace if life"). Failure to be considerate to wives will cause God to not be considerate to the prayers of husbands.
I Co 11:3 teaches us that even in the perfection of the Trinity there are relationships of authority and submission. We tend to equate greatness with greater authority. and yet in the three persons of the Godhead, each equal in glory and each equally worthy of worship, to be submissive is also a mark of greatness (c.f. Mt 20:27-28). So authority and submission in the bible is not a mark of inferiority of superiority, but merely an indication of difference of role.
There are certainly difficulties in implementing the Scriptural commands here - Christian wives must yet submit to unloving husbands and Christian husbands must sacrificially love unsubmissive wives. The same goes for children needing to accord honour (worth, regard) to unworthy parents and employees needing to show regard for poor employers. We are asked to behave in gracious ways because God loved us and chose us in Christ when we were ourselves completely unworthy.
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