Study 53 "Jesus, Lord of my single years" (23/9/16)
I felt we should begin the study by looking at 1 Co 7 and 2 Co 6 first.
1 Co 7 is admittedly difficult. Paul writes in response to a question raised by the Corinthian church (v.1) and talks in the chapter about marriage and singlehood. He strongly affirms the worth of singlehood: "I wish that all were as I myself am" (v.7, 26, 37). The one who has singleheartedly and willingly refrains from marriage does 'even better' than the one who is married. The reason Paul gives for this is because the single person can devote himself or herself solely to please the Lord, will not be anxious about worldly things and will not have divided interests.(v.32-34). Paul certainly does not disapprove of marriage (v.28, 38, cf. Eph 5:22-33, 1 Ti 4:1-4), but his perspective (and therefore God's perspective) of the superiority of singlehood as a spiritual choice is quite counter-cultural. Both singlehood and marriage are spiritual gifts of grace (charismata), which require the exercise of the grace of God in their living out (v.7).
The coming of Christ and the fact that we live in the final days must radically change our attitudes to all of life (v.29, 31b) - our deepest relationships (v.29), our pleasures and sufferings (v.30a), our possessions (v.30b) and our attitude to people and things around us (v.31). Marriage and singlehood are to be seen against this backdrop.The key thing for followers of Christ is to look beyond the events and feelings and people in our lives to God who has acted and who will act decisively in this world.
In a sense, then, if we desire marriage (or singlehood, for that matter) for its own sake, we sin (v.17, 20, 24), just as it is a sin to desire to be rich. All our drives for physical and emotional intimacy must be rested (v.24b) in trust in a God who has lovingly bought us with the price of His Son (v.23)
2 Co 6:14ff is frequently cited in the context of warning Christians not to date and marry non-Christians. This is, to my mind, a rather limited application. The prohibition not to be 'unequally yoked' has OT roots in Dt 22:10 and Lv 19:19. God uses civil and ceremonial regulations to teach spiritual truths, and the truth in view here is the need for us to be holy. So 2 Co 6:14ff is about not being associated in any way with idols and those who worship them. Just as an ox and a donkey can never plow a straight line, so also we who have the Holy Spirit can never be able to have a full, intimate relationship with those who do not share our faith. Being unequally yoked does not at all mean not associating with non-Christians (Jn 17:14-19). It means that we are not to put ourselves in common endeavors where we are under their spiritual influence or authority.
In return for our purity, God promises His welcome and fatherly care and provision (v.17-18). So the question before someone who is tempted to date a non-Christian must be, "Is Christ enough? Does God satisfy?" I said (and Winnie also said) that the approach taken by the pastor in the study illustration was not one that we would use. It is rarely helpful to hit people over the head with prohibitions without reasons and motivations. And in 2 Cor 6 Paul gives us the best of motivations - the love and fellowship of our God.
When we discussed the questions we noted that it was Peter who twice used the phrase "NO, Lord" (Jn 13:8, Ac 10:14). And yet Peter was a child of God and a servant to the end. Each one of us may not say "No, Lord", but every day we behave and speak and think in a way that denies Christ's Lordship in our lives. What distinguishes us from an unsaved person is that the Spirit in us will keep us struggling against sin and striving to avoid wrong choices. And if we are truly God's children, we will eventually give in in all the areas where we first decline to have Him exert his authority. The person who does not struggle against sin is in danger of proving himself/herself unsaved.
We noted the importance of not only remembering the commands and prohibitions of Scripture as a defense against sin (Ps 119:9-11), but also the promises, because it is the latter that remind us of the pleasures we find in God as opposed to the pleasures we find in sin. Phil 4:6 reminds us that the thought patterns we habitually engage in are those that eventually dominate us. I said that I did not want to become cranky, narrow-minded and inward-looking in old age. Thinking in a godly way preserves us against this.
Youth are 'despisable' (1 Ti 4:12) because they lack experience, and also because they are prone to 'youthful passions (2 Ti 2:22). We cannot change people's attitude to us because we cannot change our age, but we can certainly behave in such an exemplary fashion (Eph 5:3) that they have no justification for despising our youth. In every way we should behave such that there is 'no hint' (NIV) of every inappropriate behaviour.
1 Co 7 is admittedly difficult. Paul writes in response to a question raised by the Corinthian church (v.1) and talks in the chapter about marriage and singlehood. He strongly affirms the worth of singlehood: "I wish that all were as I myself am" (v.7, 26, 37). The one who has singleheartedly and willingly refrains from marriage does 'even better' than the one who is married. The reason Paul gives for this is because the single person can devote himself or herself solely to please the Lord, will not be anxious about worldly things and will not have divided interests.(v.32-34). Paul certainly does not disapprove of marriage (v.28, 38, cf. Eph 5:22-33, 1 Ti 4:1-4), but his perspective (and therefore God's perspective) of the superiority of singlehood as a spiritual choice is quite counter-cultural. Both singlehood and marriage are spiritual gifts of grace (charismata), which require the exercise of the grace of God in their living out (v.7).
The coming of Christ and the fact that we live in the final days must radically change our attitudes to all of life (v.29, 31b) - our deepest relationships (v.29), our pleasures and sufferings (v.30a), our possessions (v.30b) and our attitude to people and things around us (v.31). Marriage and singlehood are to be seen against this backdrop.The key thing for followers of Christ is to look beyond the events and feelings and people in our lives to God who has acted and who will act decisively in this world.
In a sense, then, if we desire marriage (or singlehood, for that matter) for its own sake, we sin (v.17, 20, 24), just as it is a sin to desire to be rich. All our drives for physical and emotional intimacy must be rested (v.24b) in trust in a God who has lovingly bought us with the price of His Son (v.23)
2 Co 6:14ff is frequently cited in the context of warning Christians not to date and marry non-Christians. This is, to my mind, a rather limited application. The prohibition not to be 'unequally yoked' has OT roots in Dt 22:10 and Lv 19:19. God uses civil and ceremonial regulations to teach spiritual truths, and the truth in view here is the need for us to be holy. So 2 Co 6:14ff is about not being associated in any way with idols and those who worship them. Just as an ox and a donkey can never plow a straight line, so also we who have the Holy Spirit can never be able to have a full, intimate relationship with those who do not share our faith. Being unequally yoked does not at all mean not associating with non-Christians (Jn 17:14-19). It means that we are not to put ourselves in common endeavors where we are under their spiritual influence or authority.
In return for our purity, God promises His welcome and fatherly care and provision (v.17-18). So the question before someone who is tempted to date a non-Christian must be, "Is Christ enough? Does God satisfy?" I said (and Winnie also said) that the approach taken by the pastor in the study illustration was not one that we would use. It is rarely helpful to hit people over the head with prohibitions without reasons and motivations. And in 2 Cor 6 Paul gives us the best of motivations - the love and fellowship of our God.
When we discussed the questions we noted that it was Peter who twice used the phrase "NO, Lord" (Jn 13:8, Ac 10:14). And yet Peter was a child of God and a servant to the end. Each one of us may not say "No, Lord", but every day we behave and speak and think in a way that denies Christ's Lordship in our lives. What distinguishes us from an unsaved person is that the Spirit in us will keep us struggling against sin and striving to avoid wrong choices. And if we are truly God's children, we will eventually give in in all the areas where we first decline to have Him exert his authority. The person who does not struggle against sin is in danger of proving himself/herself unsaved.
We noted the importance of not only remembering the commands and prohibitions of Scripture as a defense against sin (Ps 119:9-11), but also the promises, because it is the latter that remind us of the pleasures we find in God as opposed to the pleasures we find in sin. Phil 4:6 reminds us that the thought patterns we habitually engage in are those that eventually dominate us. I said that I did not want to become cranky, narrow-minded and inward-looking in old age. Thinking in a godly way preserves us against this.
Youth are 'despisable' (1 Ti 4:12) because they lack experience, and also because they are prone to 'youthful passions (2 Ti 2:22). We cannot change people's attitude to us because we cannot change our age, but we can certainly behave in such an exemplary fashion (Eph 5:3) that they have no justification for despising our youth. In every way we should behave such that there is 'no hint' (NIV) of every inappropriate behaviour.
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